Rabindranath Tagore says this in Gitanjali:

'Obstinate are the trammels but my heart aches when i try to break them. Freedom is all I want, but to hope for it I feel ashamed. I am certain that priceless wealth is in thee, and that thou art my best friend. But I have not the heart to sweep away the tinsel that fills my room. The shroud that covers me is the shroud of dust & death. I hate it yet I hug it in love. My debts are large, my failures great, my shame secret & heavy. Yet when I come to ask for my good, I quake in fear lest my prayer be granted'

These words almost sound like contemporary & ancient both at the same time... Didn't it make you wait & think for awhile? An alert mind experiencing this &can take the effort to pen it down. Its easier to feel than to express. Just like its easier to feel free when you are actually trapped. It just probably explains the situation for all of us. We are all slaves living under the disguise of freedom. Aren't we?

We all have chains around all of us. Chains of relationships like love, friendship etc.. also many others of a similar kind. Since we are in these chains we long for freedom but now tht one has got so attached to the chains given the freedom desired they might be afraid to take it.. Get it?
Obstinate are the trammels but my heart aches when i try to break them. Freedom is all I want, but to hope for it I feel ashamed.
Its like one is so attached to some chain tht he might feel bad to break them... Consider your boss in ur organization.. The same guy whom you curse day in & day out. He might have been a good human being.. In reality he might have wanted something else from his life but he is like that today bec he is trapped.. under his responsibilities... and so he is like that. not his fault... so what can we do? give him what he wants in his life... he might hv wanted to be a freer man... But if he does get the kinda freedom he wants today he will not take it up.... Freedom is all I want, but to hope for it I feel ashamed. Ur chains have become your friends. U cant live without your chains. They provide you security. Freedom means a lotta responsibility. Chains to everyday mundane life.. to fulfill the dreams of ur family.. these chains trap a human being completely.... But what can we do?? Slaves aren't we??? why should we feel ashamed of the freedom?? Probably bec we can hv freedom anytime.. but these chains keep us tied.. Chains are miseries.. giving happiness sometimes.... like being grounded with dreams to fly...

I am certain that priceless wealth is in thee, and that thou art my best friend.
Freedom is a lot of responsibility and one is certain that in longing for this freedom cannot be futile... it has to be for something worthy... and the freedom is ones best friend... But these are hopes that lie in one heart. They may or may not come out to be true. And above these uncertain hopes are my chains of security ( read slavery) which are certain. and so i prefer clinging to them.
But I have not the heart to sweep away the tinsel that fills my room. And so i do not have the courage to overcome or break the chains of slavery that exist in my life...

The shroud that covers me is the shroud of dust & death. I hate it yet I hug it in love.
This one becomes a little more philosophical but the mng in indeed beautiful. it refers to the body [shroud]. One knows its useless & life less & that the reality lies in the soul... I am aware of my fake body & so I hate it & still I hug it in love... [ instances of lovely hypocrisies of humankind ;) ]

My debts are large, my failures great, my shame secret & heavy. Yet when I come to ask for my good, I quake in fear lest my prayer be granted'
This ones beautiful.. Kinda refers to the very first post i wrote abt my graduation coming to an end. It says tht when u keep struggling for something you fall in love with the chase. U become so attached to the chase of finding that certain something tht you forget the whole motive. Something what i wrote in the first post which meant that i was getting my post grads degree- something for which i have been working hard. But i wasn't happy the day i got it... why because i had fallen in love with the chase.. fallen in love with the path tht led me towards it...
so when i finally get it i wasn't happy.. what do i do now?? Now tht i hv got wht i want i shd hv been happy but i wasn't... -> Yet when I come to ask for my good, I quake in fear lest my prayer be granted' I am afraid what will i do with the freedom which i have been asking for? I have got so attached to the chase tht i have for gotten the whole motive of the chase.


Brilliant isn't it? ;)

Note: Inspiration of this write up comes from Osho's Book -> Freedom [The courage to be yourself]

Random thoughts

Life is a bitch... it certainly is.... It slaps you hard when you are on your last licks... It just leaves you when u want company..... when u want somebody to listen to you...
Its important sometimes that you are just heard to.. without been questioned a bit... Just need to vent yourself of the daily burdens....
Sounds negative... but then.. ppl put up wid me.. coz this IS my space... I intend to relieve my head of some stupid feelings & thots..
Its just some of those days where u remember if u had to now write an essay on 'The day when everything went wrong' you would know exactly wot to write... Back then in school i made up stories for the sake of the write up... not that right now i am gonna elaborate on tht essay but sometimes life pinches you hard... and all you are left with is a red itchy mark on ur skin with no reasons to back it up...
It gets you thinking... for reasons unknown.. maybe its just my own pang & i need somebody to blame it on... maybe i feel so weak at times tht i need a wall to lean on.. is tht wrong? do i sound weird? do i sound like one confused soul who is wandering on this earth & struggling to find its identity?
Sometimes i think to myself..
Do i know me?
Do i knw wot does life want outta me?
Does my life have a definite direction?
Is it necessary at all for an individual in his life to have a direction?
Where is my career heading towards?
M i happy with my career.. wot would i be doing if i wouldn't be in Polaris?
Do i wanna change my industry? Can i excell here? Wht if i turn out to be a failure?
Will i ever marry? Do i want to marry? Can i live alone? All my life... will it be possible...
If yes.. how will i feel Alone or Lonely?
Ah these are just passing thots probably... i may or may not take some of them seriously.. Or may be some f them...
Maybe the career related issues can be worked upon to atleast get a definite answer..
Money does seem to be an intriguing factor but satisfaction of work tops the list i guess...
So i may well put some thot into it....
Whoa... I dunno wht am i writing .... But today i feel ife questioning my life & my existence on this earth... There is this idealistic path & there is this realistic path... they dont seem to meet in life... A fren recently asked.. 'Can we live in an idealistic world..?'
It got me thinking.. dunno wot i answered him tht moment i guess i told him its quite poss...
But then wot does it take to get to living idealistic?
Would it be fun? Would everything right in ones life be OK? Does idealism actually relate to things going right? Or does it mean things going in the way they should go? But who decides how shd they go? U? The world? The society? Will idealism make you/me happy?
Does any body recall any picture purrfect situation? THE most idealistic one?
Can a person hv total control of his life? Can he behave the way he wishes like? Does he need to adhere to society & its rules? Will his own control lead to his own disaster?

Sometimes you feel trapped.. You wanna get out of it... Out of your mind who constantly questions you thousands of things about ur identity.. your future...
U feel like a leg stuck in a half broken shoe... like a cockroach lying upside down on a layer of water.. Helpless.. hopeless... struggling to find its way out...

But one day i will surely seek answers to these questions.. till then ..

Check these lovely lyrics by Aerosmith... [The god of rock]

Hole In My Soul

I'm down a one way street

With a one night stand

With a one track mind

Out in no man's land

The punishment sometimes

Don't seem to fit the crime

Yeah there's a hole in my soul

But one thing I've learned

For every love letter written

There's another one burned

So you tell me how it's gonna be this time

Is it over?

Is it over?

'Cause I'm blowin' out the flame

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns

The knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find

There's nothing there, girl

Yeah I swear, I'm telling you, girl yeah 'cause

(Chorus)

There's a Hole In My Soul

That's been killing me forever

It's a place where a garden never grows

There's a Hole In My Soul

Yeah, I should have known better

'Cause your love's like a thorn without a rose

Yeah, yeah

I'm as dry as a seven year drought

I got dust for tears

Yeah I'm all tapped out

Sometimes I feel broken and can't get fixed

I know there's been all kinds of shoes

Underneath your bed

Now I sleep with my boots on

But you're still in my head

And something tells me this time

I'm down to my last licks

'Cause if it's over

Then it's over

And it's driving me insane

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns

The knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find

There's nothing there, girl, yeah, I swear

I'm telling you girl yeah 'cause

(Chorus)

Yeah, is it over?

Yeah, it's over

And I'm blowing out the flame

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns

The knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find

There's nothing there, girl, yeah, I swear

I'm telling you girl yeah 'cause

Cheers
Sne!!