Zara Zara Touch me

Well as i graduated to trains from an auto rickshaw along with my new job i was kinda nervous... About the trains more than the job.. On one hand i enjoyed the joy rides in the trains on weekends or late night & had often praised Mumbai's best aka worst mode of conveyance.. but on the other the thought travelling with at least one crore of the Mumbaikars in the peak hours of this busy city made be ponder whether id be able to bell the cat. But this job was a good opportunity & so i decided to dive in.


Well as far as the trains go the very first thing you need to master is the act of getting into the train. Its pretty simple you see, an amateur can just stand in the middle of the crowd & just follow suit. All you need to do is not mind being touched by at least a hundred hands & a thousand fingers to almost all your body parts!! Sounds disgusting right? actually its not. The key is to keep your attention focused not on the partial sexual harassment though with consent but on the insides of the train & how you'd be able to measure up a place for your self.. for the rest let all sizes of fingers touch your body & pay no attention unless there are any pulls...


Oh the pulls are the legendary ones for women to CAT fight. It takes just a little pull for a women to bad mouth another one. "Just mind your hand you bitch is mostly famous among young women and some aunty's resort to a much milder ones like "Stupid, idiot ... She don't understand".
Well its a small journey of about 40 mins for each on an average & there are women standing all over... from spaces between the opposite seating's to the otherwise obvious corridors.. trust me its not easy for a women to bear so many other women all at once. There are shrills even if ones finger touches another s hand & whoever gave the bullshit about the bhartiya naari & her sahansheelta (the Indian women & her act to bear it all) Travel by the train once and youll even forget she's a women altogether!


According to me its important to have 2 qualities to be able to travel in a Mumbai local without any hassles:
1. Obnoxious-ism &
2. Voyeurism.
Trust me this works.
Mumbai is very well known for space constraints & local trains are definitely not excused from the scarcity either. Loving the touch of another women no matter who she is can help you breathe air even from the godforsaken, sweat laden lot of feline cats. They are all kinds.. fat, ugly, beautiful, lipstick laden, salwar kameez clad, unkempt, all of them at one place..standing amidst a crowd of all types of species of women think what a man would be thinking? Be a man.. think like him for the nightmarish 40 minutes....
Let Great sex rule your mind... when u feel a butt touching your front.. And if the butt is huge.. think harder.. trust me.. Moan a bit maybe, for all you know it may just turn out to be orgasmic... once you learn to make love this way you'll enjoy it deeply.
Watching others indulging into this activity as well is simply stupendous. Just makes you feel you are not the only one.


Its also important to say sorry once in awhile though, but let that depend on your mood. Completely!! Not only are they a source of commutation but the trains are perfect platforms for vent your anger & irritation. Also don't forget to scream if another screams at you. None of you know each other & will never remember each others face for the rest of your life so there is no question of keeping anger for each other. You'd rather vent it on a stranger than on a loved one.. So not only does this journey lead you to your destination but also gives you mental peace. Trust me it feeels so good after you've got into an argument for no godforsaken reason!!!


Sometimes women end up making friends too & also pass on smiles to each other over women's topic of conversation but lets just stick to "sometimes". Be ready to hear words like halkat, kutri, meli, bitch, fucking crazy, you have two immediate choices if any of these are thrown at you.. Spit similar ones to them immediately or just ignore. But don't carry it home. Its important to get it out of the system and recall some of the feline stories to be able to recite it to your friends & family where you you can manipulate your bit according to ur convenience . Its your chance, and no one checks too but everybody listens & joins in the i agree or disagree bang wagon. Whts more? You get to be the hero of the story & other ppl reveal satisfies glances as of their revenge has been taken through you!!


Its important to avoid carrying big bags in peak hours.. If two women are standing and the third one is trying to squeeze in she will be able to squeeze in herself for sure but her bag will almost hang over the shoulder of the women next to her. And then starts the legendary 'ichk' 'ichk' instantly. The poor thing will squeeze in completely only if you allow her to n if you don't at least don't 'ichk' ichk'. Its important to understand that if i choose to travel by this godforsaken but very convenient mode of transport i will have to bear something called as 'Human touch" every time if i have to squeeze my way out & in & i cannot do that by without avoiding human contact.. What's with the 'ichk' ichk' for everyday travelling women.. at the very instant of a little touch. "Your bag should not touch my face, Understand that correctly" can also be translated as can you pls shift your bag a little to the opposite side its kinda blocking my view. The other person smiles & the matter finishes.. and if you still don't agree go ask your boyfriend, father or husband to buy you an aeroplane to travel so that you don't even remain on ground to see any humans altogether or just space travel to 2020!!!!




As i said love the body, the rubbing, its almost like sex with clothes on. "Your tops touching her back" m sure you are loving it.. i once teased a friend... Yeah sure.. "just the way your are loving when by back is touching your front". she instantly replied .. "Ouch", i said. & we laughed it out!!!


Cheers,
Sne!!

Gay & merry

Well as the world celebrates the legalization of Homosexual Act 377 id like to join the bandwagon in the celebration of those highly benefited by this law Hurrah.. In the end the love stands to win et all.. And i can go on at this pace about Gay rights & why one shd support it. But wait a minute.. As usual i have to put some of my own light on this subject: A more logical reason to support 377 & go against the act of God acc to some ppl
As co-incidence would call it I have always strongly stood for any kind of acts that are beyond the normal human acceptance from the time i have started having any understanding of humankind & Gay rights was definitely one i cant let go off just like that. For one it has given the human activists including a lot of youngsters to make a hullabaloo about the cliched Indian Law [refer to the pink chaddi ones in the previous post] and another its cool to support Gay rights & still not feel anything for them, as in practically. I mean seriously.. How many of us seriously feel for this. One cant get away by saying: 'Of course this is a free country & ppl shd be allowed to make free choices. & this includes abt their life partners too' Legalization & all is OK but would we accept our brothers & sisters as homosexual beings? Do you hear a 'No' from within? From where i can see its clearly a NO. Not many people actually support this but taking into account the actual number of protagonists for the same the Indian lawmakers had to finaly succumb to their wishes.
One can & has given arguments like its normal to have feelings towards the same sex as equivalent to the oppositeand all. I wonder Its just that Adam & Eve came together first as a matter of chance & since they had none other they had to make do with each other.. obviously their pleasure seeking part got the good of each other & now we see the expansion of universe into what it is today.


For all you know if there was a Adam1 & Adam2 or Eve1 & Eve2 .. the Adams would have got together & likewise the Eves & today we would be fighting to legalize for a Adam & Eve to get together. Imagine anti homosexualiy people proposing that a man & women getting together is against the act of God,. Jeeezzzzz.... Crazy. So ones things clear... There is definitely a need for an argument in war of sexes.


India is slowly & gradually moving towards it. The sped may be a little less but there is definite progress. The next time you visit India in 2050 we may see scandals like a one Shiney raping his housekeeper whose a male this time. Homosexuality would be cool by then because its actually really cool. We just need a mind blending concoction to get this straight in our head.


Lets try the concoction. But before we start blending Lets find out why are Indians so against homosexuality?
This whole universe & mankind has formed through the amalgamation of 2 sexual beings coming together & trust me it all boils down to the amalgamation. [read sex] & this needs to be proved SO:


1. The amagamation or love making of 2 homosexuals does not give any evidence of their love. as inn.. whenever there has to be love or the act of making love there has to be a visible outcome.
You mean visible enough for a world.? Eg: A child. A lot may disagree but think about it? We need to see the proof sooner or later. Indian society is still driven by laws which demand an outcome of sorts. Keep in place an Indian NORMAL bisexual couple. If they dont have kids after some years of their marriage there is a presumed reality that there is something medically wrong with them.For heavens sake... why do i need to prove my love to you? There are a lot of such proofs lying around isisnt that enough? And most of the time its the proves lust & not love.


2. The process of love making does not change. Its still the satisfaction through similar measures. [pardon me if u think this is pervert. but its true]
Yes because if they have to get pleasure the same way & with the same organs how does it matter? Who has scripted the process of love anyways? Kamasutra? I never restricted from trying aything new... If there is so much of a problem invent a new process of love making for for the sake of your sexual being. It might just help as a mind therapy. Gosh.. give them a break. They dont borrow your bedroom to makeout. Do they?


3. Most of the Gay men we know loose their masculine behaviour and have a larger portion of feminity to their personality. The lesbians i know are just weird!!! They just wont talk without touching. Gosh!!
Not all men are supposed to be macho & not all women are supposed to be feminine. SO go ahead & accept it. Love it. When a girlish guy can find love for himself why the hell do you have a problem?


4. Gays & lesbians are desperate to get in bed with other normal men & women. Its more about sex through similar measures again!
Nah... Il show you so many desperate men seeking women & vice versa. These are just desperate beings. Theyll exist with any sexuality. Whether the gays or the lesbians.


5. Its an act against humanity & Gods will.
Oh.. dont even say that... there is no scripted book on gods will or acts on humanity by god himself. & hello?? who god? With the multiple number of Gods that Indians have each one might have their own perception abt homosexuality. i cant go with nonsense 36000 times.


So now you know why its really cool to support an act of homosexualiy. Because its simply not harmful. LIVE ALL. LET LIVE ALL.


Cheers,
Sne!

Defiance is BliSs.....

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am!!


I just want you to know who i am!


Do you ever feel pulled between the societal barriers & self? Do you often have to face a conflict with yourself to do a particular thing even if you know you are right?


I don't think i can wear this and go out!! (simplest & insensible??) to I think India shd legalize Gay marriages.. (on a more serious)..
We pass through a host of such thoughts in our minds & hesitate to speak up most of them for fear of being rubbished by friends, society makers & people in general! We all want to loved & accepted at the same time!


Discussion down these lines with a friend led to him tell me this:
Quote: "There has always been a conflict between organization/societal/institutional structure and free will. An organization or a society is a collection of 'low-risk-low-return' people who herd themselves together for mutual benefit. People who (for various reasons) are not in that category are the obvious 'rebels' ... but they don't last too long. They either go mad (good), die (worse) or become 'low-risk-low-return' (worst) ... all equally inconsequential.


In my opinion (and this is just that ... 'my opinion') some people carve out a place where they can be at peace with both these worlds. And it is every person's own struggle ... to find this world within one's self." Unquote


I partially agree & disagree with him! Somehow i feel that everybody who rebels for their own cause may not always end up in deep shit ... I guess in order to discover your world and carve a place for yourself here, it is necessary to put up that fight.. Aint it?? Tell me...If i dont fight for my cause [whatever the cause maybe] who will?? If i dont get what i want who will? Most of these low risk & low return ppl often gang up together for mutual benefit because thats what they feel most comfortable with.


They probably cant face the nothingness inside them. They are all probably scared of the darkness that they might have to face.. Scared they might one day discover that they have chosen to write off their very purpose of existence on this planet... These guys also often conspire against the rebels because these are the people who make them believe that they [rebels] are not cowards like herd category and choose to take a different path...


Often these rebels can be categorized into 3 kinds...


1. The Follow me's:
The ones who love to control the herd [The bossy ones] These rebels are the ones that the herd is usually disquieted with. For eg: The Raj Thackerys or the ram senas... those types.. :D or the likes... [Did you see mumbai the day Thackery striked?? They were all inside their homes.. so early... The highway was goddamned empty at 7 in the evening.. I was so surprised/amused... :)] The Follow mes just have a little more than needed confidence, a little more than needed monetary power & a little more than needed contacts which makes it enough to misuse the power.. They love bossing over the herd.... and all they are concerned about is their personal benefit! But actually they are the biggest cowards.. A comman man. [low risk - low
return] types is probably aware of his negligible powers and that he is leading a life which does not make much sense.. but the follow mes have a motto - so let me either follow them - so i have a cause to look forward to - (though worthless) - or else even worse - criticize them behind their backs & silently run home for safety when terror strikes!
A lot of these low risk- return who aspire to be the wannabe Follow mes are ready to do almost anything for their masters in order to taste success! The follow mes are encased by a completely different energy.. deriving pleasure at the cost of the herd, frequently massaging their ego with the aspiring wannabes... !!


2. The pink chaddi campaign types...


The Consortium of Pubgoing, Loose, and Forward Women have unleashed the Pink Chaddi campaign against the Sri Ram Sena.


Who rebel a rebel... These people are actually the people who belong to the 3rd category of rebels but often accept their existence as being a part of the herd. Its just sometimes that the third category rebel strikes within them & gives birth to a pink chaddi campaign... It was an interesting idea but according to me it did no good...Just pangs.. They come.. they inflate matters.. become renowned.. and then they are gone...back to the herd.. back to acceptance.


3. The Lonely travelers:


The rebels who prefer to live on their own ideologies - These are the ones who are not affected by the opinion of the herd and neither do the raj thackreys deter them.. Tell me, why shd the third category meet the same fate? These guys are probably the Oshos, The ayn rands..or the like or the types... i don't mean all philosophers but ya, different.. ones not scared.. not the part of the herd & still a part of life & society...
Ones who can talk abt sex, women rights, male chauvinism, gay rights, child prostitution & get away with it...
Even if they are initially accepted by the herd eventually they problems do pop up in one form or another... problems due to non acceptance with the travelers... They do not like the path travelers have chosen..
Apparently because they wish they were also lonely & happy to be traveling that way!
The travelers are very few in no.. [so the herd is of the opinion that they can probably be crushed over] and most of the times quite accessible unlike the Follow mes or the Pink chaddis... The herd do not deter their thoughts simply because they are apathetic to their actions/reactions & also because is nothing that is small minded about them..They either be written off as weird, eccentric, irritating... usually the titles which make them happy or their behavior is eventually accepted by the so called herd as a change in the being which then again becomes a norm..
And then there is a re - birth of another rebel... ;)


So, which category do you belong to??? .... ;)


Cheers,
Sne!

Heart Rulez

A friend aspiring to get into one of the B Schools asked me to help himout with his essay writing business for entrance exams. One of the topics that caught my attention was 'Heart has reasons of which the reasons know nothing of' This ones especially for you, Ankush:


We almost always find ourselves stuck in moments where we have to make a choice - between the voices of brain and those of the heart. The fight continues in one way or the other and we continue to drag ourselves with it often listening to the voice of our brain and ignoring the heart chiding it to ask you to do what you really want. The voice that you actually want to act upon but do not do so as you are grounded by the societal pressures and have to put on your mask to maintain your image. That image - the liars image..
William Arthur Ward had once said:
Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you."


I seriously wonder why ppl make an attempt to curb the voices of their heart??
A heart feels, a heart knows, a hearts understands... It’s not just that one organ in your body that ensures to keep you alive. It’s the organ that helps you look at life closely. It helps you feel emotions and helps u live through numerous experiences in life. It helps re-live all your memories. It helps you age gracefully and remember the best moments in your life fondly. It knows when the perfect love comes by.
It understands your pains..
It’s emphatic...
It decides unselfishly..
It’s the one that beats....
every moment... to keep u alive to make sure you live life...
I often keep wondering ...


I usually make a very good first impression. I use my brain while talking to people i meet for the very first time. When i start to get comfortable with those people my heart takes over.. I feel weak.. Some sort of Achelles heel weakens methat takes advantage of me. As i start getting more and more comfortable with people around me my brain is in total control of my heart.. I start to loosen up... start to reveal things... Many a times those which i shouldnt be revealing.... All the while knowing that they are exploiting me, I remain calm, well poised and cheerful but disappointed and deeply hurt from within.... I seriously do not know why this happens...
Sometimes it’s difficult to understand the co-ordination between your heart and mind. They don't seem to be working on sync with each other... It’s something that tears you apart. The heart looks at life in a different light altogether. The brain looks at the practical side. But it doesn't look at the practical side when the heart is taken over and i am gallivanting with strangers revealing the so called trust my eyes are blinded with... It looks at the immediate profit. It reasons out only when i am stabbed... Bang... welcome brain!!! Hello practicality.. Hello wisdom of all earth... [Hello.. where were you when heart was wandering and wasting away??]
Don't you know?? The heart never was made for logic... It cannot understand logic. It was never developed for that purpose. So it kept doing its duties... brain is the traitor... I don't know if there exists a person whose brain and heart works in sync and is consciously aware and happy about the functionalities of the two.
The bible maintains that is a acute relationship between the two.
It says that you are supposed to love God with all your heart.
That’s obviously a figure of speech. If you are going to love god with all your heart it is obviously going to have a place in your mind… not in your heart.


When you tell your wife or girlfriend that you love them with all your heart.. What you really mean is that they are consuming your mind and you are mentally focused on them… isn’t that right.


So what is actually functioning at that time?? The heart or the brain?? Love from the brain ?? While its important to feel your emotions closely you cannot ignore the practicality of the situation. Boy am i confused or what??


A heart can be unreasonable sometimes. It makes you react on the basis of your innate raw feelings.
It makes you jealous,
it makes you happy,
A heart can tell you that you would want to a millionaire but the brain understands that it’s not possible with the current employment. And that’s when a compromise comes in practice.
Each organ is made for a different purpose. It’s like a husband and wife –living together but functioning differently. What’s important for both of them is to save their marriage. It’s important for this pair to live in harmony so that it does not lead to a divorce. In another words a nervous break-down for our dilemma right now.
Hence a heart may have it reason which a reason may not understand but since they have to live in harmony and keep a person from exploding I guess they have to function together , yet differently.


This write up has been edited for the blog but a raw and a much more brainy version of this essay has won Ankush an interview call. :0)


Cheers
Sne!!