Saturday, May 25, 2013

Tomorrow I will survive

As your remnants still lie beneath
Time and again I think of you
A wave of thoughts immerses me in the events of the past 
then i talk to myself like i would talk to you

Suddenly i stop
Greeted with silence
Hearing the bustling of the trees beneath my house
I realize that the world is moving on without me

As i battle through the cacophony of the voices inside
I lead the inner drive to concentrate on the mundane

And slowly you fade away
While i struggle to adjust my eyes in the dark
I feel
You were planning this darkness forever maybe

I try to put up
Against the witnessed naivety
But those deceiving eyes still hold up strong
Mocking my innocence

I plan my withdrawal
Amidst the echoes of your voice 
Now dimmed by distance

With a promise of revival 
Fighting the chaos inside
I slip into a deep slumber
Tomorrow i will survive


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Sex, Frustration & all that

Ever wondered why your 33 year old unmarried boss is always so pissed off with you? That mid 40's client that you have been servicing for so many years has suddenly started acting like a control freak? That man who calls you every 30 minutes to find out whether the job given to you is in progress or no? that young married & supposedly happily married senior colleague is suddenly sitting on top of your head to watch your every move ? Is that good old friend of yours suddenly been sulking & cribbing a lot more than ever? Have you just been wondering why the world around you is turning so nasty??
Blame it all on sex.. Yes my friend.. My general understanding of life in 28 years of survival tells me that we all work for sex.. not money.. not love? But sex!!

Men get their first erection as babies. Some websites that i have been through have said that using ultra sound scanners baby boys in the womb have been observed with erections. Though i cant prove the authenticity of the information & i haven't been keen enough to check with a doctor, point of the matter remains men have been at it since their fathers seed got into their mothers wombs. On the other side of the gratification lies a woman who in a considerable number of cases has proved to have a much higher sexual appetite than their male partners. Women for that matter have been treated as sexual objects by men forever since forever but studies have proven that lack of sex in a woman can actually affect her head. They may take it as a negative comment on their own attractiveness.

A sexually satisfied human being is much more stable headed, concentrates better, has better relationships and raises better children too.

You might have by now started to wonder that I am being a bit superficial & that sex stands no chance against true love. But hey.. that needs to be expressed too. That needs to be illustrated too.. theres no point of love or true love for that matter if theres no sex. And trust me sex gets into your life much deeper than that.

Ok now forget the penis for a moment, the vagina & the clitoris too.. think of a car instead, lets suppose you buy a brand new car. You carry out your common maintenance tasks regularly like car wash, check replace engine oil, replace oil filters, fuel filters, inspect or replace windshield wipers etc. Why do you do these? For better performance right? So that the car gives a better mileage? yes? Now replace your body with the car? your body will give a better mileage only when your common maintainence task of sex is carried out regularly. Read mileage as anything in this case -- an enhanced work life, good relationships, better parenting etc. 

You bloody well need that sex. & at every point in life. And you have to work for it. If i am sitting around waiting to feel like i feel when i am aroused.. thats not going to happen. i have to do all that i do to make me aroused which even includes arousing your partner if he reciprocates in that fashion. Each one has its own style to make themselves feel aroused.. for some its talking dirty, for some its a kinky movie.. role plays have been popular forever & the fantasy of a doggie style is never out of fashion.

It also works as a great catalyst even in your romance. Couples having regular sex seem to be more romantically involved, enjoy better compatibility levels & have lesser fights. 

Even sex for the heck of it works sometimes. You've had a bad day at office, a pesky relative has made your life miserable or someone's unwanted leching is making you feel uneasy.. come back home, think dirty, talk kinky, see the naked in act & get under sheets & just do it. Even you to yourself if you don't have a partner. after all loving your self & expressing the same towards your body is extremely important.

The other health benefits have been talked about forever.. like improved sense of smell, better skin at old age, less frequent cold & flu, better teeth, controlled cholesterol & what not.. the list is endless.. so you choose.. do it for the perfect body, for a level head, before that important deal you are about to sign, for a better life but just do itt…

And the next time you see your boss ranting unnecessarily.. just smile to your self.. take it easy & say to yourself get some sex baby.. you'll be better off.. ;)


Sunday, September 11, 2011


Silence here & silence there
Inspite of the noise everywhere
Its been long
& i have waited
but u seem to have turned 
& moved far away

my hope is dwindling
my fears increasing
Id be left alone
in this world so bright
where darkness is a form of light

I have been forbidden
from this world they say
for i took the step 
to have u in my way

I explain myself
& fight from within
With the thoughts that claim
The worst of the sins

I look at my naked self in the mirror
& see a frail, easily hurt figure
The once ripening curves 
Now look greyish & sapless

& i think maybe
it just lacks the sun & warmth
disappointed at the resulting womanhood
i realise it has now gone opaque

& then I remember the you
who loved me physically long ago
the passion in your eyes
Sang the songs of lust

The mirror reflects my thinness
But to me it is not becoming
The longish slope of my haunches you loved
Is now, just flatenning

As i slip into my nightdress
& fall back on the bed
another day goes by 
& the endless night comes

Unjust, Unjust, I shout out to myself
I cry out aloud 
& call out your name
Why wont you come
Why wont you come?


PS: This poem cud be considered as a sequel to the previous one, Also the title was suggested by a very dear Friend, Mayur!!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Ode to Power

Today she got up
& did not put on her mask
The one that she used everyday
To fake all her tasks

That morning breeze felt different
And she felt no guilt
Still perceiving in his touch
She had to let it sink

The feeling of his tender lips were still on her body
And she was engulfed in his being
The love marks he’d left
Wanted to scream

But the world wouldn’t accept
& keep her names
She would be disowned
They would be dirty games

Who cares she thought
They wouldn’t know

She’d gone to meet him
In spite the turmoil within herself
She was tired of the mundane
It was time for the forbidden

He stood there waiting for her
Like 10 years back
Both had aged up now
& the time had lapsed

Her stomach had funny circles
As she moved forward to greet
Fighting the restrictions aside
She placed a kiss on his cheek

The plan was a drink & dinner & a drive back home
But the situation today, would take a new turn

The conversation was mundane, just at the brim
They let their eyes , do the thing

2 drinks & loosened up
They had now started to laugh

The guards were coming down
And he suggested a drive
The destination was unknown
& the morning went till 5

The music was regular
Not setting up the mood
They both were alone

She knew what would happen next
Knowing not how to begin
The communication was meaningless

He was just buying time
He loved to see her talk
Her innocence her charm
He was letting the whole thing form

The devil was in his mind
& he took the first step
Laughing like a child
Slowly he held her hand

The talks stopped for a second
And then she resumed
She stared into his eyes
And let her hand be

He peeked at her from the corner of his eye
Unsure of what she felt
He dint know how to proceed

It was her turn now
To let the devil take control
She led him ahead
Slowly down the road

Her heart beating fast
She leaned on him
Confirming her presence
It all came clean

In no time their lips had met
& the rest is what you can guess
They were spent in each others arms
In the cars back seat

As she walked out of his car; placed a kiss on his cheek
She waved him a good bye
Thinking that they’d never meet

She would get back tomorrow
And wear the same old mask
But today was different
She couldn’t fake her tasks

For no one would approve
Of her dirty deeds
She’d failed her marriage
& failed herself

She wanted go
& tell him that she loved
But she was 10 years late

She took the step ahead
And broke the mundane
She ended the already dead
They all disowned her
She was now alone.

She doesn’t know where to find him
For he was gone
He’d come back one day
& she’d wait that long


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Political Boogie Boogie

Ok… This country is probably at the crossroads of its governance. And the government is creating examples of how not to govern repeatedly. Every news that hits the stands greets aggression from all platforms that humankind has ever rendered us with. I don’t think any other citizen’s civil life is as exciting & as happening as that of an Indian. Seriously!! Where do you get scams of that magnitude at a rapid rate? Too much to dope about!!

Everyone’s talking about them & some people (who call themselves social representatives/leaders) have gone to the extent of finding some sort of solution to the so called gaming-scheming the corporate & political bigwigs of India Inc have put us into.

How do we find a solution to this is the biggest question the nation is facing at this moment. It has to stop somewhere & how?

Everybody is exploring all the angles their brain cells could allow & different people in power from various places have come up with suggestions to alleviate the consequences of potential malfunctioning in the system. Not even one stone has been left unturned in criticizing the government’s actions to deal with the situation & don’t even get me started on our lousy PMjee's lame duck attitude.

There are some who have emerged from nowhere to represent the new face of political leadership & have made an attempt to experiment revolt methods to succumb the government to their demands. These movements have somehow gathered momentum with people from different strata’s joining their cause. Slowly with the growing aggression the news has travelled to the news stands & electronic channels who know how to make the most of this kind of dope – ultimately leading to gaining the stature of being called a MOVEMENT. And bang.. The guy leading the movement suddenly gets some 1million searches on the Google page, which means you know he's famous.

A few such movements lately. Like the Candle lighting after the 26/11 Mumbai attack, The Hazare fast movement & the Ramdev's bullshit at Ramlila Maidan (it’s a movement, nevertheless) & the likes are some of the most recent ones.

Also with this kind of a political environment there is an increasing necessity to belong to one of these movements according to my observation (which could well be wrong). The need to be classified into something that everyone else is into. Its about more than herd behavior, Like more of taking stands but It is definitely of vital importance to ‘Belong’ & have an opinion of that belonging; same as everyone else in that particular belonging. For e.g.: Like the houses in school where pupils are divided into a number of houses which are named after maybe Saints, colors etc. Every kid admitted into a certain house conducts all activities within the jurisdiction or for that house. The individual accolades win points for the house & there is competition between houses. See the political parties behaving in a somewhat similar manner?

So how did all of this occur to me?

The other day while in a general discussion I asked a colleague supporting the newly formed deliberate eating disorders in our country, as to what does one gain after the atrophied party breaks the adamancy of its opponent? Have we had instances of any good done by it till now?
Well, there have been future talks of how things might take place & that one such movement did manage to break the adamancy of the beaurocracy to some extent but is still struggling to get its cause corrected. So, ultimately they are still at Square 1. So my question... You break their will in your favor & then what?
And he remains speechless. But he is also adamant. It will do good he knew. Or he believes!! (A part of the belonging) How?? No clue. Whatsoever!! Also there were a few other such instances which made me believe that there is an increasing tendency to be classified in to the house system laid by the British Raj. Yes it was bought to us by them. By and large I could think for four broad classifications.

The cursory supporters:
If you find yourself supporting a particular cause just because you feel like supporting a cause or because your neighbor supports it, welcome to being a cursory supporter. In this you have no fucking clue why you support this cause. You just support it because so that you are not left out of discussions & you also have a view of that group. (Just a borrowed one) You are with a belonging & you feel safe. You are neither interested nor likely to develop interest in the wrong-doings of the movement or the society or what others think or whether anyone cares a fuck. You got yourself classified & u r happy.

The Fervent disciples:
If you are one of those who feels deeply for this country & are extremely saddened by the fact that the on-goings are spoiling its reputation, welcome to being the ‘Fervent Disciple’. Your situation is just a little better than the Cursory ones because you know the exact purpose of the movement & support it with full reason. What you don’t know is whether it will lead to the desired outcome & you haven’t even thought it that way. Basically you are totally missing the cause for which you are fighting. For you participating is of utmost importance. You will find yourself contributing to status updates posted on social networking websites, making opinions or initiating open-ended discussions, participating in rallies/candle lights held across your city, forwarding smses, encouraging others to support the cause & then rejoicing after the adamancy has been broken. You then slowly return to your work & lifestyle thinking you have done your bit whereas the matter which you supported is still somehow n the bin. You have just wasted your time & energy, satisfied your patriotic desire & been a part of fueling the trending topics on twitter with a #tag. (Get the connection?)

The imperturbable Mortals:
These ones though they get classified together as a natural process & just make more sense they do no good to no one. They try to reason out everything & dont support anything. They are the first ones who'll question the meaning of the Lokpal Bill in campaigns like that. They'll reason out the supporters movement & may counter question one of the supporters to judge whether the movements existing purpose & tweak his head to make sense. Everything verified they may still decide not to support the movement because they are unsure of the ultimate outcome of the movement even after its success. They’ll also be the first ones to criticize with a ‘I told you so attitude” & will quietly enjoy the results if things succeed. They can make a good point while arguing against something & can criticize to No hell as to what disaster or what non-senses is being caused around.

The bootless Mentor
These are our new age gurus, the columnists, the bloggers, the opinion-makers & the likes. They have a lot to talk about. They often raise the most valid points, criticize the right things & point out the right mistakes. You’ll see a series of comments made by the Fervent Disciples & Imperturbable Mortals on their blogs & websites. They give a lot of valid dope, come on talk shows, get featured in newspapers & make the above 3 categories think. But then? What’s the point?

Whatever one may support/not support everybody just seems to be so confused to me. The youth, the government, the politicians, the civilians. Supporting a cause is a good thing but this country does not give you reason to think straight & its becoming more of a concern rather than just a misunderstanding. It somehow shows that people seem to need to vent out the sudden wave of discomforting events. They are ready to support any Tom, Dick & Harry movement in the rage to do so. They just want justice & they want their money back. (Well, at least some think they'll get their money back. Ask them how & they'll have no fucking clue)

Adding fuel to this fire are the social media platforms multiplying into our blood like a new virus. All the mediums of communications seem to be connected & somehow it seems to pick the best of every sentiment from all the movement & place it on their platform to get the best out of it.
Eventually what we have is a Mixed Vegetable handi of the communication platforms where the social media activists (thought leaders, columnists) struggle to get to print through their Twitter updates, the print media writes of how FB & twitter have revolutionized everything (describing how the news of the movement has become big) & how information transcends at an electric rate.

So with whom lies the solution? I am as confused as you are. But I believe the Lokpal if formed was a good measure to start with. Secondly, just because one thing succeeded by conducting a fast that cant be se as a measure for something else by someone else. Remember that theory just because a thing A worked for some cause it may not work for other cause. The Ramdev’s insane rally should not have received this wide a magnitude. His entire stuff was bizarre. This guy teaches yoga, & should be trusted only for that. The government has definitely made a fool of themselves by doing a 360 degree aasan trying to turn the whole thing around. Firstly they took Hazare for granted & in order to avoid that kind of mistake again… took Ramdev too seriously? What bullshit!!

It’s been a monster drive for us till now & we don’t know for how long it will stay this way. But I believe the cleanup has begun. The chaos will bring in order in some form. The Cursory, Fervent & the Bootless will make sense & may be able to think clearly & we may actually end up having a stable government.

With an induced feeling to ‘belong’ to a lesser scammed country - AMEN. SUM AMEN.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Bathing Ladies

Yesterday's BS carries an article named The Bathing Ladies. It basically talks about the artists from the early 20th century, trained in a style that has now come to be identified as academic realism.
Now i am sure most of you dont know what is academic realism. Let me help you here..

Academic Realism is a style of painting & sculpture produced under the influence of European academies & universities. What it basically means is painting a naked woman. Any painting/sculpture which has carved the most quintessential parts of a woman's body in order to depict that the woman is in her most comfortable form when naked could mean academic realism back then or as a matter of fact even now. Naked, keeping in mind that the comfort levels of a woman in the painting remain undettered even if she is amongst a crowd. (or so i understood)

The article carries pictures of 2 ladies, one unclothing her self as if to go for a bath & another of a wet woman just out of a bath in a white cotton saree which then clings to her body because of the water creating the element of voyeurism.

So i always wonder.. what's the pleasure one gets from painting a naked woman? Ok. granted Pleasure.. I'll buy the pleasure part.. The artists might be thinking of a woman in a partially clothed state which he would have otherwise wished to rip apart & so he goes ahead with his imagination and carves out a piece of what they call an 'art'- which is what people seem to be buying!! These 20th century paintings are auctioned for about Rs. 60 to 70 lakhs.. which is quite an amount. and that too of a partially or a completely naked woman when there's already enough sex & a hosts of naked woman available a dime a dozen.

What impression would you want to give the visitors by depicting pictures of naked woman from the early 20th century on your living room wall? that you love to see & show off naked woman time & again & in order to pursue this passion you have spent 70 lakhs or that you are just too artistic that i fail too see that you do??

But the fact remains defying the argument stated above that people paint naked women & they are bought & money is earned. I think whether its from the early 20th century or from the late 21st century the excitement of a naked woman remains where it is. I don't mean to criticize people who paint or buy these pictures. I just want to ask them wots the deal?

The world may have moved ahead, the adoption of culture from the west to the east may have legalized painting & selling of Nudes in India & women may have become more outrageous & comfortable with their body. There may be a culture of bold sex of various kinds (lets not get into that. my previous posts hv already spoken abt it) & there may be a hell lot of sex workers now paying income tax.. Soo??

But still, There is nothing that beats the glimpse of a partially naked woman. The thought of imagining her entirely naked thereafter is an extremely enticing one. Semi-nude is the word. According to the article there were artists in the old era who had devoted themselves to painting the bathing women?? what a profession? If someone asked them what do you do? he would reply i am an artist, i paint only naked women, especially those who have just come out of a bath.. :) Hilarious. Their work of art was called The Bath series. With all due respect, and with all the open mindedness, its still pretty amusing...

Academic realism is almost practiced everywhere today. In fact what is practiced extends even beyond that.. The kingfisher calender would be nothing else but a nuance of academic realism.. Its almost playing with the viewers imaginative power.. Actually any human being with a radar like equipment would need no imaginative power to see whats beyond the visible, in this case!!

So my questing again.. whats the deal with the painting??

Guess it all boils down to the hyped protuberance on the woman's body.. They are where the men are born .. & they are where they would die.. :D

Do i have any replies here, men?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

The curious case of Niira Radia

The recent Niira Radia tapes & her wrong doings have suddenly bought a lot in light. We have people throwing accusations at media & questioning the sanctity of PR as a profession. Responsible journalism for one & PR community acting as lobbyists is the talk of the season.
Somehow according to me it’s not about Journalism & also not about PR. No! No! No! We are all on the wrong track & I will explain why. We are busy seeing the consequences & have still not identified the problem. Discussion forums are cluttered with absolute rubbish with people throwing baseless allegations at the media bodies & PR communities. Just because I belong to the PR community I am not going to defend myself but I am going to state a real reason why this could have happened. (Well, according to me)
The other day a friend called me on a Sunday afternoon & started a usual conversation. Since we both belong to the PR fraternity we usually end up discussing the news for the day.  Who could have possibly worked on a which news & which agency doesn’t have the balls to do what. Our tendency also lies in sharing a good piece of edit or an article that either one of us has read in the newspapers. Obviously the last Sunday’s Edits were filled with the curious case of Nira Radia. We eventually got into talking about all the controversies involved therein with Niira Radia being the main talk point. Conversations did drift to Barkha Dutt & Vir Sanghvi but we bounced back to her on & off. Suddenly he asked me "If you were Niira Radia what would you have done?" It got my mind ticking. Seriously. I am in the same profession that she was in probably a decade ago. I am a good orator & can convince well. So by all means I can find myself in her shoes one day! So, what would I do? Well the first thing that I told him was an obviously lame, "I don’t know. I'm not of that level". He replied saying "what will you take to talk? And I seriously started thinking. The conversation made me realize something which I already have known & here it was being proved once again.
So here goes my analysis of Niira Radia's mental state & to all the questions being raised around, also making an attempt to safeguard the PR fraternity & taking a stand as to what would I do if I were her.

As a PR professional, we indulge in a certain level of lobbying by influencing the actions of the media community (mostly) & any other community if need be.
For those who don’t know what lobbying is? Lobbying (also Lobby) is a form of advocacy with the intention of influencing decisions made by legislators and officials in the government by individuals, other legislators, constituents, or Advocacy groups.
Lobbying equivalent for us could be as minute as demanding the questions in advance for an interview or also going to the extent of providing the journalists with the bait to favor our client.
We do this to bring our client in good light. We do this because we get paid to do exactly THIS. A certain level of lobbying is inevitable for us to fill in our stomachs. Probably at that level we don't think it’s about "lobbying" by definition but it is lobbying under the sheets. Every individual may allow himself with a certain amount of restrictions (which may be moral/ethical) and certain amount of flexibility while in a job. It may be independent of the organizations rules & procedures. But one does this to survive. And organizations let them be to retain their talent. There needs to be a certain amount of relentlessness from both the sides.

The real question comes in play when a person has the power to influence the decisions of Powerful people. For example Nira Radia had acquired the power to manipulate the decisions of people sitting in the south block. Its there when your allegations of responsible journalism, responsible governance & responsible lobbying comes into play. When one has the power to influence one must definitely consider allowing himself with certain restrictions about which I spoke in the prior paragraph & that’s exactly where she went wrong. Her addiction to ambition had taken over her work ethics & so she could not see where to stop. The line "Geeli geeli chahat ki jaise "latt" hain re" of the song Marjawaan from the movie Fashion is an apt explanation for the situation. When one gets addicted to ambition & it becomes so big that one stops listening to one’s mind & heart is when you know your need psychological help.

There could be several reasons why she did this but I can think of this one. And probably this one is the most relevant one.
According to me it’s all a game of POWER. It’s particularly rare for a woman to come in power as equivalent to hers. There might be a one Nira Radia in about 100000 women (or more) that becomes a part of corporate world.  A very few from the herd make it to the top. Corporate Jungle is a world which is dominated by men of Power & Substance. A world where people think that few women make it to the top. (Which is true!!). Be it the east or the west the ratio of women to men in power is way less than otherwise. If in such an environment a woman has struggled to slowly make it big there are high chances of her mind being clouded with a feeling of superiority & a certain addiction for bad ass ambition. Women in particular have this crazy craving for power. Why? The Minority explains it all. There are times when their ambition becomes so big that takes over their mind & they indulge in activities equivalent to this one. An example of the same in the past could be Monica Bedi indulging into relationship with the famous underworld Don Abu Salem & Mandakini with Dawood. Why could they have done it? Were they in love? No!! Clearly No!! It’s a clear case of Power. Their cases are simpler; they did not make it big in Bollywood & sorted other ways out to reach fame. But a person who has really struggled to the top knows & understands his own market value would be ready to act as an operator for his own script to create an artificial inflation of prices. (Read brand value)

Another example would be the movie Fashion where PC's mind was completely clouded with her ambition & superiority that she could not see the worst coming. Understanding Human behavior can be difficult at times. These are people who have been aware of the force. I have been studying human behavior in terms of invincible power since long. Back then I was unable to affirm what it was & was not possible to think beyond a point. However the innate force of this power in relation with Human behavior has remained pretty constant regardless of the shifts in intellectual thinkings that have taken place. The forms of authority to which such power becomes attached do, on the other hand, vary in accordance to each profession.

So, Conclusion Niira Radia may be good at her work but she needs help.

To answer my friend question, if I were her my ethics would come in play once. Definitely. Whether I curb them or listen to them will be answered if I ever become Nira Radia equivalent.

For those talking ill about my PR community.  There’s actually no point of getting PR & Journalism into discussion at all. We are doing our jobs well Let us be. ok?
For my media friends: We may argue that our trust with the media news levels have gone down but the truth is that we will keep reading the news. Media houses & publications will keep creating news & there will be scams like these which will keep coming into limelight on particular “one fine days” every once a while & shake everybody off from their sleep. There will be discussions which will never make sense. Eventually we will forget all & then get back to reading news until again somebody shakes us up.

See the loop?