Zara Zara Touch me

Well as i graduated to trains from an auto rickshaw along with my new job i was kinda nervous... About the trains more than the job.. On one hand i enjoyed the joy rides in the trains on weekends or late night & had often praised Mumbai's best aka worst mode of conveyance.. but on the other the thought travelling with at least one crore of the Mumbaikars in the peak hours of this busy city made be ponder whether id be able to bell the cat. But this job was a good opportunity & so i decided to dive in.


Well as far as the trains go the very first thing you need to master is the act of getting into the train. Its pretty simple you see, an amateur can just stand in the middle of the crowd & just follow suit. All you need to do is not mind being touched by at least a hundred hands & a thousand fingers to almost all your body parts!! Sounds disgusting right? actually its not. The key is to keep your attention focused not on the partial sexual harassment though with consent but on the insides of the train & how you'd be able to measure up a place for your self.. for the rest let all sizes of fingers touch your body & pay no attention unless there are any pulls...


Oh the pulls are the legendary ones for women to CAT fight. It takes just a little pull for a women to bad mouth another one. "Just mind your hand you bitch is mostly famous among young women and some aunty's resort to a much milder ones like "Stupid, idiot ... She don't understand".
Well its a small journey of about 40 mins for each on an average & there are women standing all over... from spaces between the opposite seating's to the otherwise obvious corridors.. trust me its not easy for a women to bear so many other women all at once. There are shrills even if ones finger touches another s hand & whoever gave the bullshit about the bhartiya naari & her sahansheelta (the Indian women & her act to bear it all) Travel by the train once and youll even forget she's a women altogether!


According to me its important to have 2 qualities to be able to travel in a Mumbai local without any hassles:
1. Obnoxious-ism &
2. Voyeurism.
Trust me this works.
Mumbai is very well known for space constraints & local trains are definitely not excused from the scarcity either. Loving the touch of another women no matter who she is can help you breathe air even from the godforsaken, sweat laden lot of feline cats. They are all kinds.. fat, ugly, beautiful, lipstick laden, salwar kameez clad, unkempt, all of them at one place..standing amidst a crowd of all types of species of women think what a man would be thinking? Be a man.. think like him for the nightmarish 40 minutes....
Let Great sex rule your mind... when u feel a butt touching your front.. And if the butt is huge.. think harder.. trust me.. Moan a bit maybe, for all you know it may just turn out to be orgasmic... once you learn to make love this way you'll enjoy it deeply.
Watching others indulging into this activity as well is simply stupendous. Just makes you feel you are not the only one.


Its also important to say sorry once in awhile though, but let that depend on your mood. Completely!! Not only are they a source of commutation but the trains are perfect platforms for vent your anger & irritation. Also don't forget to scream if another screams at you. None of you know each other & will never remember each others face for the rest of your life so there is no question of keeping anger for each other. You'd rather vent it on a stranger than on a loved one.. So not only does this journey lead you to your destination but also gives you mental peace. Trust me it feeels so good after you've got into an argument for no godforsaken reason!!!


Sometimes women end up making friends too & also pass on smiles to each other over women's topic of conversation but lets just stick to "sometimes". Be ready to hear words like halkat, kutri, meli, bitch, fucking crazy, you have two immediate choices if any of these are thrown at you.. Spit similar ones to them immediately or just ignore. But don't carry it home. Its important to get it out of the system and recall some of the feline stories to be able to recite it to your friends & family where you you can manipulate your bit according to ur convenience . Its your chance, and no one checks too but everybody listens & joins in the i agree or disagree bang wagon. Whts more? You get to be the hero of the story & other ppl reveal satisfies glances as of their revenge has been taken through you!!


Its important to avoid carrying big bags in peak hours.. If two women are standing and the third one is trying to squeeze in she will be able to squeeze in herself for sure but her bag will almost hang over the shoulder of the women next to her. And then starts the legendary 'ichk' 'ichk' instantly. The poor thing will squeeze in completely only if you allow her to n if you don't at least don't 'ichk' ichk'. Its important to understand that if i choose to travel by this godforsaken but very convenient mode of transport i will have to bear something called as 'Human touch" every time if i have to squeeze my way out & in & i cannot do that by without avoiding human contact.. What's with the 'ichk' ichk' for everyday travelling women.. at the very instant of a little touch. "Your bag should not touch my face, Understand that correctly" can also be translated as can you pls shift your bag a little to the opposite side its kinda blocking my view. The other person smiles & the matter finishes.. and if you still don't agree go ask your boyfriend, father or husband to buy you an aeroplane to travel so that you don't even remain on ground to see any humans altogether or just space travel to 2020!!!!




As i said love the body, the rubbing, its almost like sex with clothes on. "Your tops touching her back" m sure you are loving it.. i once teased a friend... Yeah sure.. "just the way your are loving when by back is touching your front". she instantly replied .. "Ouch", i said. & we laughed it out!!!


Cheers,
Sne!!