Monday, December 3, 2007

Random thoughts

Life is a bitch... it certainly is.... It slaps you hard when you are on your last licks... It just leaves you when u want company..... when u want somebody to listen to you...
Its important sometimes that you are just heard to.. without been questioned a bit... Just need to vent yourself of the daily burdens....
Sounds negative... but then.. ppl put up wid me.. coz this IS my space... I intend to relieve my head of some stupid feelings & thots..
Its just some of those days where u remember if u had to now write an essay on 'The day when everything went wrong' you would know exactly wot to write... Back then in school i made up stories for the sake of the write up... not that right now i am gonna elaborate on tht essay but sometimes life pinches you hard... and all you are left with is a red itchy mark on ur skin with no reasons to back it up...
It gets you thinking... for reasons unknown.. maybe its just my own pang & i need somebody to blame it on... maybe i feel so weak at times tht i need a wall to lean on.. is tht wrong? do i sound weird? do i sound like one confused soul who is wandering on this earth & struggling to find its identity?
Sometimes i think to myself..
Do i know me?
Do i knw wot does life want outta me?
Does my life have a definite direction?
Is it necessary at all for an individual in his life to have a direction?
Where is my career heading towards?
M i happy with my career.. wot would i be doing if i wouldn't be in Polaris?
Do i wanna change my industry? Can i excell here? Wht if i turn out to be a failure?
Will i ever marry? Do i want to marry? Can i live alone? All my life... will it be possible...
If yes.. how will i feel Alone or Lonely?
Ah these are just passing thots probably... i may or may not take some of them seriously.. Or may be some f them...
Maybe the career related issues can be worked upon to atleast get a definite answer..
Money does seem to be an intriguing factor but satisfaction of work tops the list i guess...
So i may well put some thot into it....
Whoa... I dunno wht am i writing .... But today i feel ife questioning my life & my existence on this earth... There is this idealistic path & there is this realistic path... they dont seem to meet in life... A fren recently asked.. 'Can we live in an idealistic world..?'
It got me thinking.. dunno wot i answered him tht moment i guess i told him its quite poss...
But then wot does it take to get to living idealistic?
Would it be fun? Would everything right in ones life be OK? Does idealism actually relate to things going right? Or does it mean things going in the way they should go? But who decides how shd they go? U? The world? The society? Will idealism make you/me happy?
Does any body recall any picture purrfect situation? THE most idealistic one?
Can a person hv total control of his life? Can he behave the way he wishes like? Does he need to adhere to society & its rules? Will his own control lead to his own disaster?

Sometimes you feel trapped.. You wanna get out of it... Out of your mind who constantly questions you thousands of things about ur identity.. your future...
U feel like a leg stuck in a half broken shoe... like a cockroach lying upside down on a layer of water.. Helpless.. hopeless... struggling to find its way out...

But one day i will surely seek answers to these questions.. till then ..

Check these lovely lyrics by Aerosmith... [The god of rock]

Hole In My Soul

I'm down a one way street

With a one night stand

With a one track mind

Out in no man's land

The punishment sometimes

Don't seem to fit the crime

Yeah there's a hole in my soul

But one thing I've learned

For every love letter written

There's another one burned

So you tell me how it's gonna be this time

Is it over?

Is it over?

'Cause I'm blowin' out the flame

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns

The knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find

There's nothing there, girl

Yeah I swear, I'm telling you, girl yeah 'cause

(Chorus)

There's a Hole In My Soul

That's been killing me forever

It's a place where a garden never grows

There's a Hole In My Soul

Yeah, I should have known better

'Cause your love's like a thorn without a rose

Yeah, yeah

I'm as dry as a seven year drought

I got dust for tears

Yeah I'm all tapped out

Sometimes I feel broken and can't get fixed

I know there's been all kinds of shoes

Underneath your bed

Now I sleep with my boots on

But you're still in my head

And something tells me this time

I'm down to my last licks

'Cause if it's over

Then it's over

And it's driving me insane

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns

The knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find

There's nothing there, girl, yeah, I swear

I'm telling you girl yeah 'cause

(Chorus)

Yeah, is it over?

Yeah, it's over

And I'm blowing out the flame

Take a walk outside your mind

Tell me how it feels to be

The one who turns

The knife inside of me

Take a look and you will find

There's nothing there, girl, yeah, I swear

I'm telling you girl yeah 'cause


Cheers
Sne!!

1 comment:

mohit said...

well written... :) am i to believe all these thoughts are random and without reason? i wonder... keep it up. i'll have a detailed analysis soon. he he he! take care, girl.